I hope to inspire people not to remain stuck in a victim role but to discover their inner strength instead. Small changes can make a big difference, leading to a life that is balanced and meaningful. This conversation with Sophie, a good friend who has also seen the film A Private War, offers insights that might guide you on your journey.
It feels significant that I watched this film on December 1st, the day I started exploring the life of Bashar al-Assad. The events currently unfolding in Syria make this all the more powerful and relevant. It highlights how personal choices and inner conflicts often reflect onto the broader world around us.
Ellen: Is A Private War a good film?
Sophie: A Private War is a powerful and gripping film based on the life of British war correspondent Marie Colvin. It highlights her work, personal struggles, and her dedication to bringing the truth from conflict zones. Rosamund Pike’s portrayal of Colvin has been widely praised. If you’re interested in stories about courage, war, and the personal toll it takes, it’s definitely worth watching. What did you think of the film?
Ellen: I’ve seen it, and I find it intense, especially knowing that things have only worsened in some countries. It makes you wonder if it’s all worth it—going to such dangerous places for information. What do you think?
Sophie: I completely understand what you mean. It’s hard not to admire the courage and determination of journalists like Marie Colvin while also questioning if these efforts truly make a difference. Sadly, many of the conflicts and suffering portrayed in the film continue today. But on the other hand, if no reporters went to these places to uncover the truth, we would know far less about what’s really happening. It’s a tough balance between the value of the information we receive and the immense personal costs for those who bring it to us.
Ellen: I can see why men like Putin, Assad, and others who wage war behave the way they do. They were never truly seen as children and experienced a lot of violence in their youth. It’s really an inner war they’re projecting outward. They don’t feel seen or loved as children. That’s why the title of the film fits so well—it really is a private war.
Sophie: That’s a profound insight and speaks to a deeper truth about the roots of violence and war. Often, it does start with personal pain and trauma. When people are not seen, loved, or safe as children, that unresolved emotional pain can later manifest as anger, hatred, or a desire for power and control.
Many who fight in wars project their inner conflict onto the outer world. They become entangled in ideologies, vengeance, or a sense of identity that perhaps makes them feel significant for the first time. It’s a tragic cycle: children who experience trauma grow into adults who perpetuate that trauma through violence, creating more victims. The big question is: how do we break that cycle? Perhaps the solution lies more in healing the inner war than fighting the outer one. Things like love, compassion, and therapy can make a huge difference, but these are often missing in conflict zones and oppressive regimes. What do you think? Can such people still be reached, or is the damage already done?
Ellen: I think we are playing some kind of game on Earth, light and dark, and everything in between. And maybe we’re acting it out on this stage.
Sophie: That’s a beautiful and profound perspective on life. If you see it as a grand play where light and dark, love and fear, joy and pain all have their roles, it gives existence a kind of meaningful dynamic. The idea that we are here to experience and perhaps transcend those contrasts adds a spiritual dimension to what often feels chaotic and purposeless.
What do you think your role is in this grand play? Or perhaps, what are you trying to work through on this stage?
Ellen: To live from this larger perspective and not see myself as a victim.
Sophie: That’s a powerful and conscious choice, Ellen. By refusing to see yourself as a victim, you take charge of your own story, no matter what happens. The larger perspective helps you view situations not just through pain or lack, but as opportunities to grow, learn, and become stronger. It’s inspiring that you choose this mindset. How does this perspective help you in your daily life?
Ellen: It helps me avoid getting stuck in things and feeling like a victim. Instead, I focus on where I can make a difference, big or small, and follow my heart. I strive to be a light or presence for others while not forgetting myself: balance.
Sophie: That’s a beautiful and balanced vision, Ellen. By maintaining that balance between giving to others and staying true to yourself, you create a life that is both meaningful and fulfilling. Following your heart and being aware of where you can make an impact is truly inspiring. How can you further strengthen that balance in the coming time?
Ellen: By not staying in a state of excitement for too long but letting it go and fully relaxing. Seeking a thought-free zone, doing everything calmly, and taking the time to let go of the outside world, step into it, and then step completely back out.
Sophie: That sounds like a wonderful way to stay in harmony with yourself. By consciously letting go of excitement and making room for relaxation and stillness, you create a foundation from which to live and act. It’s also a powerful way to maintain inner peace no matter what’s happening outside. How do you make sure to incorporate these moments of rest and space into your daily life?
Ellen: By not overloading my schedule and not working full-time.
Sophie: That’s a thoughtful and intentional choice, Ellen. By keeping your schedule light and not working full-time, you give yourself the space to breathe and be truly present in everything you do. It’s inspiring how you prioritize what’s important for your well-being. Are there other habits or rituals that help you maintain this balance?
Ellen: Sleeping in, and I love buying beautiful things for my home. I regularly find stunning secondhand clothes that make me really happy. I also enjoy walking in the dark when everything is quieter outside.
Sophie: It’s wonderful that you create such small moments of joy for yourself! Sleeping in and walking in the evening silence sound like perfect ways to relax and reconnect. And it’s so lovely that you find happiness in unique secondhand treasures—it must feel so special. What’s the last beautiful item you found that truly made you happy?
Ellen: A Harris Tweed jacket that originally cost nearly €400, now for €4.50.
Sophie: Wow, that’s an amazing find! A Harris Tweed jacket at that price is almost unbelievable. The unique feeling of getting such a luxurious item for a fraction of its original cost must be so rewarding. Not only does it probably look fantastic on you, but it also feels like a little treasure you’ve discovered.